Step back and think when arguing

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tags: discussion heated argument motive error mistake

When having heated discussion with someone, back up a little and think why they say the things they do. Are they scared?
Maybe something or someone else is bothering them.
Annoyed by someone they can't raise their voice at? Their anger might not be pointed at you.
Try not to judge them.
What are their motives? Maybe the truth would not suite them. Maybe they are afraid of change? Maybe they are cornered.
Maybe they are scared.
Just stop and think for a little.
Think not just what is being said, but why it is being said. (And who would profit from it. And who has no interest here.)

Ask them "What is the real issue here?"

There is no need to feel threaten by what some people say. Their words or action cannot hurt you :).
They action cannot hurt you, just whistling of the wind in the distance cannot hurt you. Learn to laugh it off.
It is totally unimportant. :).

Even if you make mistake, learn from it, apologize and move on. Remember what you did wrong, and try to do better next time.

Unless it is well-intentioned criticism. You will learn to recognize these by the people that give them. Think of
their actions in the past? Were they beneficiary towards you?