difference in communication between men and women

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tags: communication

Women share (talk), that is how they get intimate with their girlfriends.
I tell you my problem, you tell me yours. She expects man to tell her his problem(s).

Men don't share. If they talk about problem with some guy, that means they cannot solve it on their own.
I tell you my problem, you tell me solution. Also it means I am unable to solve the problem on my own, and sort of... weak.

Now when woman tells her problem to a man, he gives her solution. That, however is not what she expects.
So she keeps talking.
Man perceive this as not appreciating advice. So they complain. "She just keeps on talking"
So they tune out.

Women see this as not wanting to get intimate.

Men establish order in pack, by giving orders to low-level members.

Women "give order" to do something, like hang a painting, men see this as being a lower rang than women.
Women do not see it the same way. They see this a proof of love.

You Just Don't Understand
by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D.

William Morrow and Company, 1990

Reviewed by Laura Morrison