How to have sex

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Sex is not a dirty word. :) Sex is natural, sex is fun... :) 

Look for a book titled: "The Female Orgasm Black Book" by Lee Jenkins.

Look up the appearance of female sexual organs on the internet. Vulva
(everything including the vagina), clitoris, clitoral
hood, outer labia, inner labia, the whole female reproductive

You can trim your hair in pubic area a bit.

Watch your hygiene. Cut your fingernails and toenails.

Make sure you are clean. Wash your penis with water and soap if you
want. Remember to wash out soap. (More on the hygiene).
Take a shower.

Have clean underwear.

Shave. Girls take a long time to prepare for the one they love. If you
come to see her, or greet her in an old t-shirt, smelly and unshaven,
she will think you dont like her much, since you did
not put an effort to prepare for a meeting with her.


Create an atmosphere, a mood, with:


Put on some nice sensual music, or sexual music. Google
for it.


Tone the light down, or use a lamp.


For scents, use scented candles and/or burning incense.

Scents are very important.

Turn the phone off, AFTER she arrives. You can remove the wall clock if
you want, but it is kind of bad idea.

Compliment her

Tell her how good she looks. Or compliment the way dress
looks on her. Not just the dress.

Be different. Comment on her hairstyle. Don't just say: "You look
pretty", although, that is better than nothing.

Make her feel good.

Get her relaxed

You can shower together if you want, or take a bath together.

This will get your bodies clean and relaxed.

Some women like to be undressed by men. And then kissed all over.

Get playfully to the
massage part.

Watch her body language.

Learn to read it. Learn to recognize what she likes, or dislikes.

Stimulate her erogenous zones


Women need more time to reach orgasm than men.

They need to be stimulated longer. They need to be stimulated for some
time, before the "penis enters the vagina" part.

You can do this by stimulating her body (massage, kisses, touches) or
her mind (whispering sweet nothings into her ear. :) )

That way you can get her hot, and wet, so she can orgasm before, or at
the same time with you.

If you have orgasm before her, you should try to help her reach orgasm
too, otherwise you are just being selfish. :)

You can, for example, use your finger(s).

Although, if you or her don't reach orgasm, it is not the end of the
world. If you want, you (both of you), can relax and start again, later.

Sex should be fun and joy. Not a place for ego tripping.


Women's erogenous zones are not just her lips, breasts, and her vagina.

When kissing her, kiss her all over. 

Kiss her cheeks, her lips, ears (VERY sensitive :), you can
try gently biting them a little :), forehead, collar bone,
neck, shoulders, back of her neck, her back.

Kiss the small of her back (part above her butt, that some girls like to
have tattoo on), her belly, spine, line from her belly button to her

Collarbones. Inside part of her elbows, and knees.

Kiss her all over.

Keep body contact. People in love usually try to be close to each
other, their bodies touching all the time.

Keep an eye contact. Say her name a lot. Or call her honey, or sweetie,
or sunshine, or dear, or love (only if you mean it).

First hold her neck or her head. Pull her towards you gently, and then
kiss her [lips].

When standing together move you hands all over her back, while you are
kissing her. 

Before sex, don't just kiss her lips, breasts and vagina.

Whisper sweet things (no swearing) to her ears. Tell her what you will
do to her.

You can dance together then start kissing. Make sure the beginning
doesn't feel forced.

Preparing for the massage

Put two towels on the bed You can do this before she comes over. Help
her undress, or watch her while she is doing it. Or undress eachother.

The massage

Ask her to lie down on her stomach. Use some
baby oil. Don't be cheap. You can use a lot of it. But not too much.
(Laughter is good.)

Give her a massage, from the back of her neck to her feet. You can be

Watch her body, read her
body signs. Keep an eye contact.

Keep a steady rhythm over her back. Make it in a slow rhythmic movements.


Knead, like making a bread.

Use circular movement if you encounter a knot in her muscle.

She will breathe deeply if you hit the spot. :)

Dont forget to massage her arms too.

Don't relax her too much, or she will fall a sleep.

Go quickly over her ass, then come back.

Pay special attention to the inside of her thighs and her vagina.

Use more oil on her ass. Let it spill. She will like it. :)

Don't put oil on her vagina. (It might damage the (most often
used) latex condom, making it leakable.)

If you can, use polyurethane condoms, which are resistant to oil.

Now, ask her (politely) to turn on her back. Repeat the procedure going
from her neck to her toes. Try to keep an eye contact.

Stick around at the breast area.

Go to her toes, then go back to her inner thighs and vagina.

Now you have to wash your hands. Oil don't mix well with condom.

Hurry up and come back.

She can give you a massage, if you both want it.

Labial (vaginal lips) area

Watch her body, read her body signs. Keep an eye contact.

She will breathe deeply if you hit the spot, and/or arch her body.

Be gentle.

Don't put penis inside of her right away. First you have to make her
wet. It will ease the entering of the penis, as well increase the
pleasure for her. Always make sure she has an orgasm before
you. (Or two, or three :) )

Women take longer time to get aroused, so you should get her aroused
first, before entering the vagina.

If you come to fast, masturbate before the event.

Now the vagina. :)

GENTLY, massage area around her outer lips. Don't touch inner lips, or clitoris just yet.

Clit is very sensitive.

Massaging the vulva. (The
whole area.)

You can use pillow if it is hard for you to keep an eye contact in the
next stage.

Kiss her outer lips. Slowly. First left, then right one. You can go in
half-circle, from top to bottom. 5 kisses.

Kiss her inner lips. Slowly. First left, then right one. You can go in
half-circle, from top to bottom. 5 kisses.

The next step is:

Move your tongue from the bottom of her vagina, to the top. At the top is the clitoral hood.

Increase pressure here, and go from left to right. Pause 2 seconds. Now
go back with your tongue. Move your tongue down to the bottom of her
vagina. Don't lift it while doing this.

Repeat 10-20 times.

First go all the way to the top, hold, go back. Repeat 5-6 times.

Then go half way, go back. Repeat 5-6 times.

Then mix.

Flick a tongue over her clit few times.

Entering her (first with
your finger)

Don't go inside of her with your fingers or your penis until she is
wet. It will hurt her.

Put you finger inside her slowly.

Keep licking her (Try licking her clit.). Stimulate her vagina with
your finger.

With palm up, put your middle finger inside her vagina.

Move middle finger toward your palm, in a sort of "come here" move. You
can try to find her g-spot,
which should be on the top of the vaginal wall:

"Bean-shaped ... , g-spot is typically located one to three inches (2.5
to 7.6 cm) up the front (anterior) vaginal wall between the vaginal
opening and the urethra[3] and is a sensitive area that may be part of
the female prostate."

Some girls like different, more penetrative move where you simulate
penis movement with your middle finger (in and out).

Your palm is still up, and when your finger is all the way in, your
palm makes contact with the outside of the vagina.

Keep doing this until she has an orgasm. (If not, proceed to the next
point, or repeat it.)

Enter with your penis, when she is ready. She will tell you if she
can't hold it any more :)

Keep an eye contact, read her body signs.

Other than that, keep a rhythm. You can speed up the rhythm, but you shouldn't
slow it down, or change it too often.

If she tells you to move harder, or faster, you better do what she
says. :)

And don't stop through her orgasm (if you do things right, and/or are
lucky :) )

She might feel like she is over stimulated, but she won't like it if
you stop.

You can also try to build up an orgasm and then slow down the rhythm.

Slow down a bit.

Then build it up few more times, then let it explode :)

Don't touch her clit with your fingers. Clit is too sensitive for that.
You can touch it over the clitoral hood.. Or move your fingers around
her clit. But never touch her clit directly with your

You CAN touch it with your tongue, though. Gently, or you can flick it,
if you want :)

Don't go inside of her with your fingers or your penis until she is
wet. It would hurt her.

Remember to cuddle afterwards. Hold her gently.

DON'T turn back and fall asleep. That is the worst you can do.

Don't get up to do something. Don't turn the lights on, or stop the

She will feel vulnerable after the event, and want you to hold her. DO
that. If you just get up and leave she will feel used and discarded.

Ask her what she likes in sex. If she is to shy to answer, ask her to
hold your hand, and to squeeze when you do something she likes.

These are just general directions, be free to experiment. You
should both try to have fun, and play, enjoy.
Play together with her.
Laugh, a lot. Explore. 

With her consent, of course.

And lastly, you shouldn't have sex with people you don't plan to have
(loving) relationship with. Sex creates bonds between people. They are
not easily broken.